with a rant rant here and a rant rant there...

Dear Huntington Department of Roads,
You, like most places in the world, have potholes. It is a natural part of aging, don't be ashamed. Pot holes are the smile lines of asphalt. But like the people who drive on you, you have become obsessed with you appearance. And so, to combat these blemishes on your face, you have instead created little speed bumps all over the road. This is not really a solution for the long term. Concave surfaces are not fixed by overfilling and convex-ness. Imagine if Sophia from the Golden Girls had dyed her hair blonde. The rest of her would still indicate her age, the hair doesn't make that much of a difference. Also, the big steel plates, not as awesome as you think.
hugs,
Norway Avenue

To the Most Important People in the World,
What a privilege to be in the same Kroger as you! I am sorry that we wanted some of the same items, but blocking off the aisle with you carts kept me at bay! And way to keep that old lady with three items from getting to the check out line before you. Foolish woman! Also, I admire your courage in throwing away common conventions of protocol. Not only did you roll your eyes at people seeking to get past your cart barricades, but you shrugged off the judgment of others and took you two full carts and 30-some coupons to the 'Express Lane'. Who cares if the sign says "15 items or less"? You do what you want. You are the most important people in the world. May I just say that putting the check out girl in her place was genius? "You're earning you wage today honey." Priceless.
I salute you,
Just some ice cream and shampoo

Dear Loud Lady on Cell Phone,
No one cares about your business. No one likes you.
The end.
love,
the world.